Top gear: iPhone 4S Diamond Rose

Features David Hayward Jan 22, 2013

David Hayward’s love of shiny things goes a little too far this week

Okay, so we all know Apple products are somewhat more pricey than their non-Apple brethren. It has been that way since the dawn of time, and will most likely continue in such fashion until the sun goes dim. It’s what keeps the balance of the world, Apple are expensive, but you get the quality you pay for.

Being a section based on the most ridiculously expensive tech-related items, it’s very easy to include every Apple product in here, although to be fair it’s only my point of view, as we can’t justify the vacant hole in a bank account left by the purchase of an Apple product. However, in realistic terms, most of us could afford an Apple, in some form or another. What 99.9% of us will never in a month of Sundays be able to afford is the Diamond Rose.

The Diamond Rose, to introduce it before we get around the price, is a luxury Apple iPhone 4. Its bezel is handmade, crafted from Rose with approximately 500 individual flawless diamonds which total around 100ct. The rear of this extravagant is of Rose Gold, embossed with 53 diamonds and shaped lovingly into the Apple logo (I’m now beginning to sound like a QVC presenter). The Home button is of wrought platinum and holds within its expensive grasp a single cut 7.4ct pink diamond, or if you’re feeling a little extra generous, then the pink diamond can be replaced with a very rare 8ct single cut flawless diamond.

In terms of presentation, the newly purchased Diamond Rose will be hand delivered, no doubt with an entourage of heavily armed chaps, in a solid granite chest, of imperial pink and lined with Nubuck top grain leather. Inside will be the item in question, along with a carry case tailor-made with hardened leather and a certificate of ownership, most likely wrought in the finest vellum and penned by a hand-reared and specially trained quail.

The Diamond Rose is the creation of Stuart Hughes, a designer of the highest tastes, and supplier of luxury goods to the rich and famous. His designs, be they technology-based, fashion, automotive or boat-related, attract the attentions of those who can afford entire golf courses with nothing but the change in their pockets; you get the picture, we’re sure.

Right, onto the price. Should you give old Stuart a call and place an order for the Diamond Rose, you can expect the very best service, and the withdrawal of an eye-watering £5,000,000 from your coffers. Yes folks, five million quid for a 32GB iPhone 4S!

Mind you, with this purchase you can guarantee that yourself and only one other person in existence has the same phone, as, like Noah’s famous animal procession, this design only comes in a pair. We’re not sure why, perhaps the formation of so many diamonds takes too long? That being the case, wait around for a few hundred million years and you can purchase another.

Admittedly, this isn’t Apple’s doing, it’s all down to Mr. Hughes, so it’s unfair to tar Apple with the gold-edged brush. Still, you’ve got admit it’s worth a try.

Stuart Hughes’ Diamond Rose is the crown jewel of his collection (quite literary) however, he is currently constructing, or designing, another iPhone extravaganza, this time with more diamonds. But, this new model will arrive in a box of pure platinum, and, get this… with polished pieces of actual Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur bone inlaid with many precious stones! The cost of this new design? Let’s put it this way, you won’t get much change from £6,000,000.